The Zen of SPAM

Here are some recent logs from today's SPAM quarantine. These are unedited - the log contains only the two lines you see here. My comments are in italics. I've included the spammer's email so that you too can share the wealth... although some are obviously purloined or otherwise bogus.

From: Penelope Esparza (aggrandizingak6@sn-web2.seniorennet.be)
Subject: You can afford immeasurable amount of watches.
If the price of each watch is greater than zero, and I can afford more than I can count, then I must be about to receive immeasurable wealth: see PayDay message below. Coincidence? I think not. It's just too bad this won't bestow immeasurable time upon me.

From: PayDay (John7409@patterntosuccess.com)
Subject: No Interview
Who could say no to a PayDay? Entitlement at it's best. No interview, so I guess it doesn't matter what I do (or don't), or even if I show up? Wait a minute - this is the PayDay... but what about the PayCheck?

Oddly, if you go to patterntosuccess.com you are automatically redirected to an unsubscribe page... either they want you to confirm your email address for more spam, or the pattern didn't work out so the only reason to go there is to bail out on more messages from John7409, and perhaps John[0000-7408]. Hmm, I wonder if all these Johns might be alien clones among us?

From: Patty Potter (ngbells@yahoo.com)
Subject: abundant absentee
Any relation to Harry? Shouldn't the email be something like "ppotter@..."? Anyway, alliteration apart, this ties in nicely with the immeasurable watches and wealth which will soon come my way (the abundance), plus the PayDay with no actual job needed (the absentee). This is getting freaky.

From: SilkZzz (SilkZzz@mail6.runningincense.com)
Subject: Pillowcases made of silk
Mmmm, sounds nice. I can recline on these and gaze upon my immeasurable watches.

From: Printer (lizzyu@walllinernovel.com)
Subject: Produce high quality documents with a new printer.
This is sooo exciting on multiple fronts. First, it's a LOT better than producing crappy documents with a new printer. And second, I guess all I need is this magical printer. It somehow does the document production just by sensing what I need: Awesome. It can even send out emails (like this one).

From: Brian (brian-v@sprinklelife.com)
Subject: Just Maybe, Bruce...
Yes... I can imagine the possibilities.

From: Easy Flirt (caroline@amoureux.com)
Subject: Des rencontres 24h/24 dans ta ville
Not being a Francophone (does that need to be capitalized?) I went to ets.freetranslation.com and found out that this means "Of the meet 24h/24 in your city". Recalling some basic algebra, 24h/24 = 1h. So I guess Caroline is offering an easy 1-hour flirt. Well, I don't have an interview today, so Just Maybe...

From: Bionic Hearing Aid (hearing@www.kickassvicky.com)
Subject: Finally, hassle free hearing
So much of what I hear is a hassle: racism, global warming, bill collectors, rampant unemployment, wars, global hunger, that 'scritchy/squeeky' noise when I hit the brakes, H1N1, radical islamists who cut off people's hands, etc, etc. What a relief to have a solution! Sadly, kickassvicky (probably a purloined URL) is only under contstruction.

From: Brian (brian-v@sprinklelife.com)
Subject: Resend: Did you get our last email, Bruce?
Just Maybe, Brian...

From: PayDay (Dean@orionmusicmanagement.com)
Subject: 5 jobs to start now
Forget this! Five jobs for One PayDay? John7409 has a much better offer above.